Saturday as we were heading out for a day of family shopping and togetherness, T had a monster meltdown. She wanted to wear her headband that her Mammaw had just given her, so I made it look really pretty and we all oooh-ed and aaaah-ed and enjoyed it. My only instruction being, "Don't mess with it, or it will take me awhile to fix it" Oh my word....
Matthew was on teeth-brushing-duty and what do you know, T had her hair band off, trying to do it herself, totally messing up her hair in the process. So, I said let's just wear this to Church tomorrow and wear our normal ponytail today.
There were tears, squealing, folded-ever-so-tightly arms, dirty looks, and crumpled up heaps of 5 year old writhing around on the floor. When this happens there is no quick fix. She has to get it out before she will even listen to what you have to say. Her ears and brain go on standby and we just have to wait until she stands up and we can talk it out. All the while the rest of the family are ready to head to the mall!
So, after a few minutes she gets herself up and climbs into my lap, and we talk about breaking the rules, and all of that good stuff.
Through tears, she looks at me and says, "Don't forget my Care Bears when I go to another family, I want them".
It was a very emotional moment. That after almost eight full months in our family she still thought we were going to pack her up and move her to some other family. She's been thinking this for a few weeks now.
It hurts, we both cry a little, and we try very hard to get her to understand she is not leaving.
Back when she moved in and we had to give her a time-out she would cry and say , "Mommy doesn't love me!" I heard from the last foster mom that she did the same thing to her. Well, the past few weeks it hasn't been the I'm-not-loved emotion. She now apparently is confident in being loved, but her new time-out outburst is "I don't love you anymore", switching it around to revoking her affections from us. Actually, this outburst causes less sympathy from me, since I know she is just being upset, whereas the earlier statement made me question her acknowledgement of our love for her. After her time-out she says, "I love you again" and we talk about how she shouldn't say those things, etc. etc. The therapist says it is perfectly normal for her background and progress.
Just another hurdle.
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