.. which would be an excellent blogger address for a new, ranting blog.. but I can barely maintain this one, so I "gift it" to the world.
Matthew and I (mostly I) have been watching a lot of
Clean House on the Style Network. If you've seen that show, you will realize how they have completely added "gift it" to our lexicon. I mean, I have absolutely NO problem de-cluttering and throwing out or donating the entirety of our house several times a year, but to be rewarded for stubbornness.. Sheesh!
So, anytime someone wants to "gift me" a flat panel TV just for being me, I'm okay with that!
:-)
Today work has been a battle. Incessant waffling and whining, and not from our side of it!
I am filling my prescription tonight for Provera, amongst a little bit of animosity.
I have carried this prescription in my purse for well over a month now, really denying it's purpose.
Provera is a medicine to kick-start your cycle, for those of us who have months or years in between ours. It is a hormone, and everything you read says it puts you in the "mother of all PMS moods" for over a week!
It is prescribed for fertility in order to get your cycle going so you can start the Clomid regimen.
I have gone to the double-my-original-strength Metformin and still no cycle. I've taken pee-stick tests and no baby. I've had two separate Dr.s tell me there is no baby, take the medicine.
PCOS makes you irregular in your cycles.
But PCOS isn't all physical, there is a huge part of it that is emotionally linked to your almost daily chant of,
"Am I fixing to start? Am I pregnant?" because you literally don't know from one day to the next if "today's the day" to go out and buy tampons, or if you should opt for a pee-stick-test.
And even those tests cast doubt because there are dozens of documented PCOS sufferers who manage to test negative on even the most sensitive tests until they are well into their 2nd trimester.
But, the longer you wait, the longer you feel like going crazy.
It is this constant attack of emotions and uncertainty that makes you a basket case.
And so, when the Dr. prescribes you something to actually induce a period, you cringe and think about it for over a month, because with each new day you just might spontaneously start or find out you're pregnant.
It really is exhausting.
:-(